Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
