Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
