i would punch a child for taco bell
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
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