just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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