I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
