perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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