i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
