Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
