Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
