so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
