My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he shaved USA in his pubs
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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