Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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