she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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