Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize