i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
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