I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
