We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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