You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
