I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
