i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Randomize