i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
