I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
The power of my boobs compel you
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
