He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
