He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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