Ambien. No doubt about it.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
