What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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