i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So much Jack, so little girl.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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