So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
