Ambien. No doubt about it.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
