things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
