I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
