Apparently you make a good broom.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
