u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize