He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
