So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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