you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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