Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
