no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
