We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
