i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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