i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
