If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
