btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
