we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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