It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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