i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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