Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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