i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize