Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
