She said her name was "party"
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
