Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
