I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize