I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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