At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
is it fun? or sober?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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