In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Randomize
