***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize