How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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