Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
