dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Can you bring me the toilet please
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
