I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
