I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Are we still banned from the library?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
