dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize